The Fine Line Between Networking and Neediness: Reflections from Los Angeles
Written By: Jon Bregel - Founder, Filmmaker & Coach, Nourish
This article was originally published in The Nourish Community newsletter, an extension of the online community I founded for filmmakers in pursuit of wellness, meaningful relationships, and purpose.
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The word “networking” often evokes a certain wariness, especially in creative fields like filmmaking where interactions can sometimes feel transactional, or worse, desperate. Given the tough times many of us in the filmmaking community, particularly in L.A., are navigating right now, I fully understand the impulse to make every interaction count. While these reflections stem from my own journey and awareness of the dynamics of neediness, they are not meant to pass judgment on anyone else’s approach, especially during such challenging times.
That said, I’ve come to appreciate a deeper, more human side to networking that I believe can serve us better in the long term.
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The film embodies what I’ve come to recognize as the heartbeat of filmmaking: raw honesty, independent spirit, and deeply personal storytelling. It is about creating work that comes from the inside out, without waiting for permission or approval.
That is why it felt so natural to see Jay and Michael join Rich Roll for a long-form podcast conversation about the film and the creative process behind it. Their dialogue touched directly on themes that are central to this community: how to ignore the gatekeepers, create now rather than waiting for the “right moment,” and shape a life around creativity rather than compromise.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rq_TBVn0PIc&ab_channel=RichRoll
What stood out most to me in this conversation is how closely it reflects the philosophy that first drew me to the Duplass Brothers’ work years ago and that guided the process of making The Baltimorons. For Jay, for Michael, and for Rich Roll too, creativity is not about chasing validation. It is about showing up for your own art, right where you are, with what you already have.
If I could boil down what I learned from Jay while making this film, it would be this:
Be fearlessly yourself in all that you do and all of who you are. Surround yourself with big-hearted collaborators. And be a kind person while doing it.
That is not just a nice idea. It is the most reliable way forward. When you strip away comparison, trend-chasing, and the pressure to do what you are “supposed” to do, what remains is the clearest compass you will ever have: your inner voice.
Here is how I see it:
-When you tune into who you are and listen deeply, you uncover what you uniquely have to offer the world.
-You are not your heroes. And what you have to offer is not what they have to offer. That is the point.
-By manifesting from your true self, you give others permission to do the same
Roots of the ethos:
I first encountered this ethos in 2015, when Jay’s brother Mark delivered one of the most impactful talks I have ever heard at SXSW. One line has stayed with me ever since:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZeWOAliA6Y
No one is going to swoop in and give you permission to be who you are. No one is going to anoint you as ready. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you realize something else: you are already enough. You are already equipped. And in Mark’s words, the cavalry is you.
That message, along with Jay and Michael’s conversation with Rich Roll, feels like the perfect companion to The Baltimorons.
So I’ll close with this question for you to carry:
What is your creative life already asking of you, and are you listening?
-Jon Bregel, Founder, Nourish
However, one meeting stood out because it had a much different energy/vibe then the others. It involved someone outside of my usual circle, and while I believed we shared some core values, the interaction suggested otherwise. Despite the agenda that was discussed going into the casual meeting, this person seemed to have a specific, immediate agenda, which shifted the dynamic and left me less inclined to deepen the connection. This experience highlighted how the intentions behind a meeting can significantly influence its outcome, even if unintentionally.
Reflecting on these experiences, I’ve realized how freeing it has been to let go of the need to extract something tangible from every networking encounter. This shift has opened the door to more genuine and fulfilling connections. It’s crucial to recognize that while sometimes having a clear agenda is necessary, considering the nature of each interaction — whether strategic or purely social — is valuable. Time and again, I’ve found that moments of genuine human connection prove to be the most rewarding.
In sharing these reflections, I hope to invite a broader conversation within our community. I’m interested in hearing how others navigate the fine line between pursuing personal goals and fostering meaningful connections. How do you manage networking in a way that respects your values and those of others?
Moreover, while my experiences might echo those of many in our field, I acknowledge that networking strategies can vary widely. Different backgrounds, career stages, and personal styles can influence how individuals approach and benefit from networking. It’s important we recognize and respect these differences as they enrich our understanding and practices.
I invite you all to share your own networking stories and strategies, whether they align with mine or differ significantly. By discussing our varied experiences and challenges, we can enhance our collective approach to building relationships that are not only professionally beneficial but also personally rewarding.
I’ve found that networking, when redefined as a space for growth and mutual support, has the potential to enrich not only our careers but our entire lives. When practiced and viewed through this lens, “networking” no longer feels desperate or soul-sucking to me, as a matter of fact, it feels enriching! (My previous self would have never believed that…)
For more insights or to join this discussion, feel free to reach out to me directly or engage in the community. Together, we can redefine networking to be as enriching as it is effective!
All the best,
-Jon Bregel, Founder, Nourish
